Sofia Vergara on a Pedestal

The downfall of the Latina and Feminist Movement

By Cathy Areu

FX’s “Married” is no “Modern Family” on ABC (it’s new and still a little rusty on its tempo and writing), but the show’s Latina characters have so much in common: they are dumb, hot, and oh so pretty. How do I know? I watch lots of television.

For example, I watched the first episode of the “Married” but was shocked that I was shocked. I mean, what was there that surprised me so much? The all-American white male lead was an unhappily married man begging his stay-at-home (very exhausted) dull wife for sex, as he did nothing all day and she took care of all household duties including raising their three kids. Check. The next thing that didn’t surprise me: the wife gave the husband permission to have sex outside of the marriage so he wouldn’t have to. Sure, exhausted women should give their husbands permission to satisfy their primitive urges. Women are givers.

Here’s the part that shocked me but didn’t: a hard-working, gorgeous Latina from a beauty salon was totally willing to have sex with the pathetic (non-Hispanic) dull husband with no strings attached. He was married? No biggie. He had three daughters? Sure. He had to be home for a “family emergency” during their first encounter? Okay. Totally okay. She was Latina, after all! She’d have sex with him not matter what! And her ex-boyfriend was [insert drum roll here] in a gang, Hispanic, and just out of prison!

Poor, poor “white” male rushed home actually scared after he realized that his wife’s permission to have extramarital affairs (so she wouldn’t have to “satisfy him”) actually meant he’d have to delve into the world of Los Angeles Hispanics! Ewwwwww! Yuck! They’re so, so, so …. What’s the word? …. Hispanic!

The sad part is that the actors who played the roles of the dumb Hispanic mistress and gangster Latino were probably Julliard , New York City-trained, and had to spend hours in hair and makeup to acquire that , you know, dirty and naughty ethnic look. Could a dumb mistress and thief just walk onto a TV set and make it in Hollywood? God, no! A Harvard grad in fine arts couldn’t do that.

This all brings me to Sofia Vergara at this week’s Emmy awards. The multi-talented, highest paid actresss on U.S. television made a huge statement at the awards show by being a prop. Quite literally. She stood behind a white man and twirled, not saying a word. She was a prop. A trophy. Someone who was pretty but not deserving to say a word.

Her show, “Modern Family,” won for “Best Comedy. “ Her co-star, Ty Burrell, won “Best Supporting Actor.” What did Sofia Vergara win? Absolutely nothing. In fact, she lost, and so did women everywhere. She set the feminist movement back lightyears.

It’s so bad, even the right-wing publication The National Review summed it up like this, in their piece “The Emmys: Sexism So Obvious It’s on a Pedestal”:

“After the nice white man from the Academy asks her to step onto the pedestal, Vergara ”reluctantly” agrees, saying, “Alright, if that’s how they do it on American television.” (Isn’t her accent just adorable?!)”

To this, Vergara replied in a Time piece: “Lighten up!” She was just being funny.

But is it funny that, next week, when she goes to work as the highest paying actress on a sitcom, Latinas everywhere in the U.S. will continue to get paid half of what their all white, non-Hispanic counterparts make? Or, as the show “Married” continues, the next Latina actress will be asked to play the housekeeper, or perhaps the hot nanny?

Here’s some other bad news for Latinas in Hollywood:

A new study showed that “almost 38 percent of Latina actresses appeared partially or fully naked on screen, … compared with 32 percent of white females, 24 percent of black females and 18 percent of Asian actresses.”

That’s not light. That’s depressing. Women are being shown as objects, not subjects. That’s the opposite of what every dad wants for his daughter, right?

Sure, Vergara can lighten up because she’s made it. She’s on top of her industry. For the rest of Latinas, things aren’t so funny, or light. They’re half as funny and about half as light. And no one is putting that stat on a pedestal, and that’s for sure.